Point of Failure #1: Intimidation

I've spent the past couple of days wetting my feet in writing again. I have a story idea that I think is fun and has great potential, although I will admit that the premise is a bit cliche. That's okay with me right now though, because my goal at this very moment is to just write. And work on a few of my known-issues (i.e. show vs. tell) while I do so. But as I've sat at the computer thinking and jotting down ideas, I've come to realize that even more so than my technical problems, I have a galactic size issue with intimidation (among other things). And that's probably something I need to change ASAP, because it's holding me back and the things that get under my skin aren't likely to ever go away.

The first thing...is a blank screen. Or even a screen with a few words on it. Hell, an unfinished MS! I have a tendency to let the big picture swallow me up. I get antsy and unsettled thinking about all the work that I have ahead of me when I write, whether it be a completed draft or edits, whatever. I'm not happy with just a little bit. And because of that I hold myself back, feeling overwhelmed with the job at hand. Sadly, writing isn't the only thing in my life in which I let this happen. I'm one of those people who feels that if I already ate one donut, I might as well have another since I've already messed up my diet. I have to have all or nothing. With writing, it's similar, but reversed... A few words on a page aren't a full MS, so instead of chipping away, I'd rather just not write at all. Twisted, but unfortunately true.

Another thing is the output of other writers. Especially those who have similar life situations as I do (i.e. kids and a career and a house to clean). I know the majority of writers need to balance their craft and "real life" and struggle to do so, but a good many of them do a much better job than I do. Mainly because I get so intimidated and overwhelmed and, thus, freeze up and produce nothing at all. Also because I'm pretty damn lacking in the dedication department. I'm dedicated to wanting to write, but when it comes to action, I leave a lot to be desired. Again it's connected to wanting fast and prolific results, but it's only compounded when I see how many stories my fellow writers are cranking out, not to mention how many of those they're actually selling.

Of course, there's also the self-doubt that what I'm writing just isn't good. And I don't mean my ideas (that's another issue), but the actual way I put words on a page. It seems so easy, but anyone who has ever tried knows it mostly certainly is not. No matter how good I might think something is, there's always that looming fear that I'm the only one who will think so. I know that's completely normal, but in my case, it can be debilitating and lead to a whopping goose egg worth of words on the screen.

Anyhow...I know I have several of these issues or "points of failure" as I'm calling them. And I'll be using this space to hopefully work through them and clear my path to publication. So, whether or not my hashings out are of any interest to you or not, please be patient with me.